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Marc
I absolutely see how you got to that misunderstanding. I didn't realize that out of context this quote might not have the same meaning.
In the video he is referring to brick walls as trials and barriers in the road to achieving your goals. When he says separate he doesn't mean from anyone on the other side of the wall.
As I understand it, he is saying that sometimes there are difficult things that must be overcome to achieve our goals, and that it is the perseverance to overcome these enormous roadblocks that tests our character.
I am a professional salesman. In my business there are LOTS of brick walls that I have to face before I can close a sale. These roadblocks can come in many forms, often unexpected. It is the sales professional who doesn't allow roadblocks to be stopping points in a discussion that will ultimately get more sales.
Similarly, I believe Pausch is saying that the person who does not allow life's challenges and curve balls stop them dead in their tracks is the person who is more likely to actually achieve their goals consistently.
Does that make more sense?